Rest In Peace.

My Father-in-law passed away earlier this week…

He battled pancreatic cancer for just over a year. The cancer itself didn’t really spread all that much, but the location of the tumor and the secondary health effects the cancer caused on his body made him ineligible for surgery and weakened him tremendously over the course of the year. There really aren't any other words for the disease other than, it can take the strongest people you know and turn them into the weakest. Because of all of this, my wife has continually been saying that his passing wasn't sad, it was actually peaceful. What was sad was hearing he got diagnosed with cancer, watching him suffer week in and week out dealing with the intermittent failures of different parts of his body, causing infections, tremendous pain, and lost hope. Although he will be greatly missed, there is so much peace in knowing he is not suffering anymore. This set of events will of course have rippling effects on a lifelong journey, but for now we rest in that peace and reflect on the man he was and what he instilled in his family.

Since my wife and I have been best friends since we were kids, I have been part of her family for more years of my life than I haven’t. That being said, her father stood in as a parental figure to me for all of my youth, young adulthood and beyond, as did her mother. This allowed me to learn so much from my parents-in-law over the years, and also see how their values worked their way through my wife's life as we all lived life together. Experiencing good times and bad, having family dinners, going on vacations, going on hikes, taking the boat out, playing games, and so much more. I guess what I am ultimately trying to say is that while some people are blessed to have parents that love and care for them greatly, teaching them what it means to laugh, cry, love and everything in between, I was even more so blessed to have two sets of parents instilling all of those things in me; my second father, Carmin, played a big role in that.

Carmin was a quiet, humble leader, who dedicated his life to serving his family. While he didn’t outwardly voice the love he had for his family very frequently, his actions dictated this love astoundingly - this is also incredibly apparent simply scrolling through his Facebook profile or his Instagram. He was always so proud of every little accomplishment, saw the beauty in the simplest things, and wanted nothing more than to make his family proud.

We are proud. I am proud. Something I love most about him is that he never wasted time. I don't think I have ever seen him sit in front of a television for more then maybe 10 minutes, unless he was invested in a movie we were watching as a family. He always wanted to use his time to try new things, pick up new hobbies, and create new experiences with his family. These are all things I now value so much as well, and these passions are what inspired me to begin writing in the first place. I now genuinely believe that subconsciously he was the person instilling these drives in me. He led by example and provided inspiration for each of us to step out of our comfort zones and take on new challenges head on.

While I am fortunate enough to have been on the inside, experiencing the examples led and lessons learned, I have also seen Carmin’s mark on his family from the outside, through my wife, mother-in-law, and brothers. It is always funny to see little glimpses of peoples parents in them. I have mentioned time and time again how much my wife has taught me to live intentionally and to celebrate the small things. I believe that this practice comes in part from her father. There are numerous other traits and qualities in her that come from him that I love and cherish. This is truly such an amazing thing because through my wife, pieces of Carmin live on. Through all of us, pieces of him will live on: that’s the result of the mark he made.

And for my family, I will gladly accept the role of motivating everyone to take the boat out bright and early in the morning for a nice day on the water. I know that looking down on us, that would make him smile from ear to ear.

Rest in peace, Dad. We love you.

Dionisio III